Sweet Feet

Blessed Be Your Name

As we were singing Blessed Be Your Name in church today, my heart was filled with worship.

Blessed Be Your Name
by Matt Redman

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name


Even though it is hard to sing...

"On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering"

I also know...

"In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow"

because I am looking for and see God's goodness.

I have made a choice to spot God working in my life in the midst of grieving. This doesn't mean that I don't have moments or days of fear or sadness. I do. But I want joy. I want to roll in hope.

I know that my blessings in the midst of tears and pain are not an accident. My heart soars when I can identify the blessings because I know that I am deeply loved by my God who grieves with me. I see it each and every day...the protection, the mercy and grace given in abundance, in my precious family, verses that I just happen to need appearing while I am reading, friends pouring love into me, words of encouragement at the moment I need it, people being in the right place at the right time... I could go on and on...

I will sing these words with a thankful heart, and maybe a few tears, resting in the gentle arms of my Savior.

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

"You have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me."
Psalm 63:7-8

(Another blessing: A friend posted these verses and I read them a the exact moment I needed it. How absolutely perfect...in His timing.)

Six Months

Six months ago today, I said goodbye to my dad.

The grief still cuts deep. It sneaks in and surprises me. I catch my breath and that familiar feeling of anxiety and panic grabs my heart. It is still so raw and fresh. It feels surreal. Life has gone on but I sometimes feel as though I am standing still.

There is still a big empty spot where he used to be. I long for one more touch. I long for another heart to heart conversation. I long to hear his chuckle or for him to tease me. I long for his advice or to hear him start a conversation with, "The thing of it is," and know that I am in for a long lecture. I ache when I see something that reminds me of him. I ache when I catch myself doing something the way he did. I long for him to watch The Pip and Little Mister grow up. He would have taken great delight in the antics of The Pip and the easy going sweetness of Little Mister. I long for family vacations with him. With spring on the way, I long to talk about what we would plant in our yards. I ache because I know I can't ask him a question that he would easily know the answer to. So many longings. So many hopes and dreams.

Even though we grieve and our hearts ache, we are able to see our abundant blessings. We have made it through six months. Friends have come along side of us, encouraged and prayed for us. We have grown closer as a family. Little surprises have happened that made days easier. We have seen provision when there has been need.

"I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD."
Psalm 27:13-14

I have fallen in love with the following verse and hold it close to my heart. It is soothing and fills me with peace.

"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."
Zephaniah 3:17

This picture is so very precious to me. Sometimes I think if I stare long enough, I can remember what it felt like to touch him.

Goodbyes are never easy. It can be hard to see the bigger picture. This was the final time dad sat in his driveway at his home before heading to the nursing home. A little over 2 weeks later, dad began a new life in heaven.


Sharing my story is vulnerable for me. I would rather be private about my grief. I share because it is heavy on my heart and I know that there are many walking this same journey with me. I know that I am not alone. If in some way my words can bring comfort or encouragement, it is for a greater glory.

Six months ago, I said goodbye to my dad...but only for a little while. You see, I am confident that I will see him again. I read the lyrics of this song at my dad's memorial service and the words still speak the truth in my heart.

With Hope
by Steven Curtis Chapman

This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...

We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
(There's a place by God's grace)
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again

And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free, and ...

We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true, so ...

So we can cry with hope
And say goodbye with hope

We wait with hope
And we ache with hope
We hold on with hope
We let go with hope

Happiness Is...

A Trip to Monkey Joe's

(for The Pip and her mommy)

Notice the sparkly lips? The Pip believes she needs glam lips even when playing rough. She paused in her play long enough to gloss her lips. This, she did not get from me. ha ha ha

Where are you spring?

Animal Science by The Pip

"Cows don't make water. They make milk."

"Only chickens make eggs." (She was referring to the type of eggs she eats.)
"They make eggs out of their chicken bottoms."

The wheels are always turning.

11 Months!!!

Happy 11 months my precious baby boy!

Your 1st birthday is right around the corner.

Teeth

Little Sailor

10 months of sweetness soon to be 11 months

It's in the Family Tree

She is The Pip after all...



And you wonder where she gets it from?...



This would be their dealer...
(of all things sugar and diva)


In the words of Paul Harvey, "And now you know the rest of the story."

One Dedicated Grandpa

"What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life. And, most importantly, cookies."
~Rudolph Giuliani

"Grandchildren: the only people who can get more out of you than the IRS."
~Gene Perret

My Three Valentines

"The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together."
~Erma Bombeck

Valentine's Day 2009
Remembering


This is my last Valentine's Day with The Pip before Little Mister was born.
I had a little over a month left.

The Grandmas Sue and Pat

The stud in the glasses is all mine.
Posing with him are The Pip and Grandpa Larry.

Grandma "Jooty"

This picture is very precious to me. It is my very last one of The Pip and her Grandpa Jimmas before his health declined. It was also the last time he was able to come to our home.
We greatly feel his absence as we are experiencing a year of firsts.

Nate the Great

To most, he looks like an ordinary man but to our family, he saved the day or in this case, days. I am not the mushy gushy type but this story needs to be told.

The Plan...

We have not gotten away by ourselves since before my dad was diagnosed in December 2008 and even then we can't remember when that was. We really needed a night away to refresh and regroup.

The St. Olaf Choir was scheduled to be perform at Trinity Christian College on Friday, February 12, 2010. Nate proclaims that they are the best collegiate choir around and has desperately wanted to hear them in concert. I can't emphasize enough how much he had his heart set on this. It was a big deal. When he knew they were going to be in Chicago, he immediately started pursuing me to agree to go. He purchased the tickets, babysitting was in place thanks to grandparents and we were going to be headed to Chicago for our night away. I was going to be in IKEA heaven and on a Portillo's high. Bliss.

What Really Happened...

Thursday night, February 11, 2010. I felt incredibly tired, had no appetite and decided I needed to go to bed early and rest up. We were on routine as usual. Nate bathed and put the kids to bed. Right after he put The Pip to bed, I felt a stirring in the pit of my stomach that led me to the bathroom. I quickly became very sick, the kind of sick where it flies out both ends. Nate the Great came rushing to my side. The rest was a blur of fever, chills, moaning and violent bodily fluid evacuation. He got up with me each time I headed to the bathroom until my body finally settled down early Friday afternoon and that was MANY times. He headed out in the night to pick up a prescription to quiet my nausea and help me sleep.

As if that chaos wasn't enough, Little Mister started in with a croupy cough in the middle of the night and Nate the Great saved the night again by getting up with him, in the midst of caring for me, and took him outside for some cold night air to help calm down the coughing.

He took over all the responsibilities in the house, including caring for me, all of Friday and Saturday.

It became clear that he was going to have to give up the dream of watching the choir sing, at least for this time. The hope of getting away was replaced by survival.

He amazed me Thursday, Friday and Saturday by not once complaining about the loss of something very special and important.

Thank you, my dear husband, for saving the day and for sacrificing to meet our needs. We, The Wife, The Pip, Little Mister and Big V, love you very much. You are our hero.

A big thank you to Grandpa Larry for bringing me jello and popcicles. Another thank you to Sue for rescuing us once again.

St. Olaf Choir
www.stolaf.edu/music/stolaf_choir/about.html

The Object of Her Affection

Even as a teeny tiny baby, The Pip was very oral. Putting a pacifier in her mouth was the ticket to helping her soothe herself. When she started speaking, she called her pacifiers, "poppies," and "poppies" they still are. She would take them everywhere with her and we joked that they were her best friend.

Since we have restricted her use to only nap and bed, she gathered them all together and put them in a sparkly pink jewelery box to keep on her bed.



One evening last week, I had her go sit on her bed for a time out to calm down from a tantrum. When I went to check on her, this is what I found...

A Closer Look at the Hands

An Even Closer Look at the Hands

She loves her poppies.

Happy Valentine's Day!

"I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon."
~Author Unknown

A Basket of Valentines

A cup of tea anyone?

Destruction

and so it begins...